Your heart and soul have a deep desire for intimacy and love with someone, but if you're afraid, you probably do everything possible to put it aside despite your best efforts. Again and again, you find yourself stuck in the game of tug of war, "Come, go away." Why? Why be afraid of love, to get closer to something that you want and crave so deeply?
Deeply want to be seen, understood and known. Crave the delicious pleasure of connection exquisite flow of love that occurs between two open hearts deeply joined together. There is nothing happier and illuminating intimacy, love. On the other hand, maybe there is nothing to fear.
The two main fears of love
Take a moment to remember, when you were growing up, the times I was very close to someone - a parent, a brother, a friend.
Did you do something to hurt you? Does the person you loved rejects you with anger, judgment, criticism, or rejection? Does the person you quit or died? Fear of love is in your heart, fear of love. It is the fear of an insurmountable loss.
Does the person you loved was controlling, envelope, or suffocating? Have you had to give up to you to keep them?
Is your fear of the fear of losing someone you love, or lose yourself in a close relationship?
These fears are substantial enough to potentially cripple you as soon as they experience romantic connection.
Healing from fear to love
When you were growing up, you may not have received from your parents or caregivers, the role model on how to handle rejection and engulfment healthy and loving way. But it's never too late to learn.
If you knew that you show yourself now as a strong adult, able, would you you fear less love? If you recognize yourself as an emotionally healthy person could recover from potential rejection and loss, and set limits to avoid entrapment, you fear you still love? If you knew you were strong enough to choose the loss of a partner rather than lose with him, you love you fear?
The key idea here is that, the fear of love is not, in your heart, fear of love. It is the fear of an insurmountable loss. If you do not think you are able to recover after the loss of a loved one, you become very vulnerable to lose yourself. And that, in itself, is frightening. Avoid love may seem like the smartest way to minimize the risk of injury.
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But when you do that, a deeper headache is. Love is one of the most beautiful experiences in life.
Be strong enough to love means to become strong enough to lose love, and know that it will be fine.
6 steps to heal the fear of love
So how do you develop that strong to be? How do you develop that version of you that knows, without a doubt, you are able to survive the loss and rejection? This is, of course, as you take the necessary steps to learn to love yourself measures. Here are 6 steps that can guide you through that process.
1. Be willing to feel pain and take responsibility for your feelings
All feelings are informative, let us know if we're loving or abandoning ourselves, or if other people are being loving or drivers.
The first step is to consciously follow the breath to get to be present in your body, and compassionately embrace all feelings.
It is moving towards your feelings rather than away from them with various forms of neglect yourself, like having a lot of mental noise, judge yourself, you get into an addiction to elope, or blaming someone else for your feelings.
2. Move the intention to learn to lose fear of love
In an internal union, there are only two possible intentions at a given moment:
- Protect against pain, avoiding responsibility for it through various forms of addictive and controlling behavior.
- Information about what you're doing or thinking that might be causing your pain - or what may be happening between you and another person or situation - so you can move to take loving action in your own name.
3. Learn about your false beliefs
The third step is a deep and compassionate exploration process - to learn about your beliefs and behaviors, and what happens to a person or situation that may be the cause of your pain.
Ask yourself truly reflective moments: "What I'm thinking or doing that is causing these painful feelings of anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, jealousy, anger, loneliness or emptiness" Let the answer come from within your feelings.
Once you understand what you're thinking or doing that is causing these feelings, then explores those hurt feelings, fears and false beliefs that lead to thoughts and actions of self-abandonment.
If you feel lonely, broken, heart or helpless about someone, ask yourself what's going on between you and someone else is causing these painful feelings.
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4. Start a deep dialogue with that great to be inside you
It's not so hard to connect with that great to be inside you as you may think. The key is to be open to learning about loving yourself. Answers may come immediately or over time. They can come in words or pictures or even in dreams. When your heart is open to learning, the answers will come.
5. Takes the affective action learned in step four
You open your pain you, moved in learning, initiated a dialogue with your feelings, and connected to the great to be inside you. In the fifth step, the affective action is taken that over time, heals the shame, anxiety and depression have been the result of the abandonment of yourself.
Sometimes people think that "love yourself" it is like a feeling that has to evoke. A good way to look at love yourself, is emphasizing the action, "What can I do to love myself?" Instead of "How can I feel love for myself?"
6. Evaluate your action
Once the loving action is taken, it checks to see if the pain, anger and shame are healing. If not, steps back until you discover the truth and acts of love that bring you peace, joy and a deep sense of intrinsic value.
Eventually, you will discover that loving yourself improves everything in your life - your relationships, your health and your well being, your ability to manifest your dreams and your self-esteem. Love and connect with yourself is the key to being able to love and connect with others and build relationships of love without fear of intimacy.
Loving yourself is what allows you to increase your frequency and co-create with the grandiose. Loving yourself is the key to creating, accomplished, passionate and joyful life.
Once you've completed this process, you are no longer paralyzed by fear of rejection. Love creates emotional safety net you need to keep your heart open to love and intimacy - even when it's scary.
When healthy relationship with yourself and you have become strong enough to give and receive love, You will experience the incredible joy of love without fear.
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